Testifying at your child custody trial can be a tremendously stressful thing. I know, because I’ve been on both sides of that. I have examined countless witnesses on the stand, and I’ve been a witness, too. Here are a few tips to maximize your effectiveness on the stand and make it as comfortable and productive an experience as possible:
- Take some water with you. One of the body’s responses to extreme stress is that the mouth can become dry. It can get to a level where it makes it difficult to speak, so if water is available to you at your table, take some to the witness stand with you. I’m of the opinion that it’s better to have it with you than to have to stop and ask for it. If you’re going to be testifying for a long period, you’re probably going to need some water at some point. Trust me on this one.
2. Prepare with your attorney. Many people do not adequately prepare with their attorney for their direct examination testimony, and that’s a big mistake. It is also true that simply memorizing the answer to every single question ahead of time is a mistake as well, because that always seems forced and disingenuous. I like to give my client’s a list of the topics that I will ask about, and highlight some important facts and details that I want to make sure gets communicated to the judge. It is also important to stay as relaxed as possible, because tension tends to affect memory in a negative way. I have found that the best way to prepare for direct examination is to practice. I sit down with my clients, or at least go through a test run on the phone, prior to trial so that they can become more comfortable with being questioned and so that I can identify any potential trouble spots in their testimony. As with most things, the more you practice, the better you will perform.
3. Also prepare for cross-examination. Many attorneys don’t spend enough time in this area with their clients, and if you’re facing an attorney who is skilled at cross-examination, that can be a costly mistake. Of course you can’t know ahead of time what questions you’re going to face on cross, but you can try to anticipate at least some of the “dirt” that the other attorney might use to try to trip you up. Two keys on cross-examination: 1) do not let the opposing attorney anger you and cause you to lose your temper and 2) answer ONLY the question that is asked and then stop talking. The first key is obvious: it’s a bad look if you lose your composure on the stand and say or do something out of character. If you do, it will probably negatively impact the judge’s view of you, and that is critical. You only have a short amount of time to make an impression, and you don’t want your judge to think that you’re an anger freak or unstable. The second key is very hard to do, but it is critical. The example I use with my clients is the question “Do you know what time it is?” If you are asked this question, the answer I want you to give is “yes.” And that’s it. If the attorney wants to know what time it is, he or she can ask “What time is it?” It’s a different question, so make the attorney ask it. The point is not to volunteer information. If you start rambling, you will give the opposing attorney more to attack you with, not so much with the time question, but with other questions about topics much more important to your case. Your answers should be as short as possible – yes or no if the question is one that will tolerate a yes or no answer. If your answers are short and to the point, it is likely that the opposing attorney is going to ask fewer questions, and that’s a good thing. If you ramble and give him or her ammunition to use against you, though, you could have to endure a longer cross, and that’s never fun. And remember that the opposing attorney IS going to “score some points” so to speak. By its nature, cross-examination is mostly unpleasant and can feel as if you’re being attacked. And in a sense, you are. The key is to remain calm, answer the questions and remember that YOUR attorney will get an opportunity to “clean up” any “bad” testimony after the opposing attorney has finished with his or her cross.
4. Don’t lean toward the microphone when you are speaking. Many people don’t realize that you don’t have to be that close to the microphone for it to pick up what you say. Most courtroom microphones are wired into some sort of digital recording device anyway, and it will pick up without your having to lean toward it. Ignore the microphone unless the judge says something to you about it, and he or she probably won’t. It’s best to assume a relaxed posture on the witness stand with your back against the chair. Speak clearly and with enough volume to be heard, but you don’t have to force it. I call the best posture “relaxed confidence.”